Before your imagination takes over and you get lost in your favorite sexual fantasy, let's talk
about whether you should tell your partner your fantasies. You and your partner might decide to
talk about your fantasies so you can both learn intimate things about the other. The more you
share about your sexual fantasies, the more your partner gets to understand your thoughts on
sex. But before you do, you need to keep a few things in mind.

First of all, you should only tell you partner your fantasies if you think he or she can handle
hearing them. You must be sure that he or she already understands that fantasies are natural and
normal and harmless. If your partner has a conventional approach to sex, then telling your
fantasies could be upsetting to him or her. If you think that your partner would freak out if he or
she learned, for example, that once in a while you have same-sex fantasies, then there's no need
to tell. If you really, really want to tell this person, then just be sure that you tell your
fantasies carefully. What I mean is, tell your mild fantasies before you tell your wild fantasies.

Second, if you tell your partner your fantasies, you might want to explain that they are things
that you fantasize about while you are masturbating, or just things that you daydream about,
rather than what you think about while you are having sex with him or her. It is perfectly
normal to occasionally think about other things or other people while you have sex with a
partner.

The third thing to keep in mind if you share your fantasies is that sometimes your partner might
not be able to shake that image from his or her mind. Your partner might even think that all you
want to think about during sex is that fantasy. In other words, if you say that you fantasize
about having your hands tied with a scarf during sex, your partner might misinterpret this as
meaning that you always pretend you have your hands tied during sex.

Fourth, remember that when you tell someone something, that person often wants to respond by
telling you the same sort of thing. So, if you tell your fantasies, your partner might begin
revealing his or her secret desires to you. Therefore, you should only tell your fantasies to your
partner if you are fully prepared to hear what fantasies your partner might want to share as well.

There is one final thing, and it's very important to keep in mind before you start telling your
fantasies to your partner. Make sure that you explain whether your fantasies are things that you
do or don't want to act out. Stress to your partner that people do not always want to live out
their fantasies! Make sure that this is completely understood.