You have to know where you are to know where
you're going. Unfortunately most men have a very limited
awareness of their own sexual responses and they don't
always know what they are feeling or experiencing at the
moment. They know that something pleasurable is
happening, but they don't know exactly what that
something is. They know that they're aroused, that's for
sure, but they aren't in touch with the subtleties of their
own experience. This is very limiting, both for the man
and for his partner.

This chapter teaches a man how to know what is
happening to his body during the various stages of arousal.
He will learn how to listen to what his body is telling him,
and how to work with those signals to maximize both his
pleasure and the pleasure he is giving his partner.

How Aroused Are You
Ask the average man if he's feeling aroused and
what does he say? "Yes" or "No." Ask him to describe his
arousal and what does he say? Not a whole lot more. But
talk to a multiorgasmic man about his arousal and you're
having a very different conversation. Multiorgasmic men
are masters of their own arousal. They know the nuances
of their erotic experience and take advantage of their
sensitivity to prolong and magnify that experience. Ask a
multiorgasmic man to describe his arousal and he'll give
you at least five pages, single spaced. He might even throw
in a poem.

Sexual arousal is actually a very complex and
sophisticated process. There are many levels of arousal,
each having its own distinct sensations and intensity. Some
shifts are subtle, some are profound, but it is not a black or white thing. It's a lot more like a rainbow. What we are
going to focus on right now is learning to recognize and
appreciate these different colors of the rainbow by
becoming more aware of the subtle differences of each
one.

Once you are sensitized to your many levels of
arousal, you will have a much more intimate relationship
with your own body. That becomes really important when
you start working with your body toward your first
multiple orgasm. If multiple orgasm is your goal, being
aroused is not enough. You must be aroused and aware. It's
like learning to write music. Everything may sound nice to
your ear, but it's hard to write a song until you know all of
the notes on the scale. The more you refine your ear, the
easier it gets. Sharps and flats are more subtle, but they are
extremely important too.

By the time you've completed the exercises in this
chapter, you are going to know the various levels of your
own arousal the way a composer knows the notes on the
scale. To make this easier, we are going to establish a scale
of our own: an arousal scale.